So listen, America.
We, the people of Maine, have some wisdom to share with you. I’m sure some of you are unaware that we even exist– we basically live in Canada even though we’re technically one of the 50 states. We live quiet lives up here, and most of us tend to like it that way. We are home to brilliant fall foliage, the famous Maine lobster, moose crashes (got plenty of those), and a coastline that is among the most beautiful you will ever see.
We’re simple people who don’t boast of knowing much that the rest of the country doesn’t know, but we do have some unique knowledge and wisdom to pass onto the rest of you:
We already know what it’s like to have a President Trump, because we have a Governor LePage.
One of the smartest things we can do in life (well, up here we’d say “wicked smahht”), is to learn from the mistakes of others. And Holey Moley, we’ve made a wicked big mistake. Twice.
After years of our quiet existence, we elected one of the only leaders who can be legitimately compared to Donald Trump. This unlikely Governor took control of our state after a failed attempt to step beyond the two-party system. While the attempt was valiant and noble, throwing votes to 3rd parties and independents ended up in LePage getting elected the first time with just 37.6% of the vote in what was a 5-way race, and won him re-election with just 48.2% of the vote the second time around.
And let us tell you, it’s been a wicked headache for us ever since.
Like would be the case with a President Trump, our Governor has been so busy tending to his chronic case of diarrhea of the mouth that he has been completely unable to govern the state. Not only has his governorship been functionally a disaster for our state, it’s made us a national embarrassment time and time again.
While we’d all like to just get back to being known for our lobster, the rest of the country would do well to learn from our mistake. Let me just briefly fill you in on some of the things we’ve been dealing with.
Like Donald Trump, Governor LePage is a white supremacist who is constantly dividing us along racial lines. The examples of his racist behavior are so numerous that it would be difficult to detail all of them in a single post, so here’s a few highlights of what America can look forward to if our experience is any predictor:
Governor LePage recently claimed that Maine’s drug problem is the fault of “black and brown” people who come into our state to sell drugs and “impregnate white girls.” When he held a news conference to convince people his comments were not racist, he actually said that black and brown people are “the enemy.” He went on to claim that he had a binder full of the photos of all the drug dealers arrested in Maine and that 90% were black or brown– yet, when the binder was turned over due to a Freedom of Information request, the truth the binder told was that the majority of drug-dealing arrests were actually white people.
What else? Let’s see…
Oh, there was the time he refused to participate in an MLK celebration, and when he was called out on it he told the NAACP to kiss his butt. There was the time he was speaking with high school children and told one of the kids that he wanted to kill the child’s father. Or the time when he said he wants President Obama to go to hell. Or the time he said we need to bring back the guillotine and have public executions… Or the time he warned that asylum seekers in Maine were bringing in the dangerous ziki-fly, even though no such thing exists. Or, who could forget the time he called up a state lawmaker and left him a threatening voicemail riddled with homophobic epithets, warning the lawmaker that “I am after you”?
And I’ll tell you what, America, these are just the first few examples that pop into my head as I write this. The reality of what we’ve been dealing with in Maine has been such a predictable and consuming part of the daily news cycle, that it’s earned our governor the title of “America’s Craziest Governor.”
Sure, you may think voting for someone who “says what they’re thinking” is cute and refreshing, but you’ll only think that if you’ve been living outside of Maine for the last few years. For us, it’s not cute or refreshing at all, but is a daily reminder that it’s all fun and interesting to watch a person like this on the television, but is far less amusing when they hold executive power.
Governor Paul LePage has been so busy creating controversies, leaving nasty voicemails, and threatening to kill people, that he lost all ability to govern long ago. He’s barely able to work with his own party, let alone work with Democrats. The functional reality is that we don’t have a governor at all– we just have a Trump-like controversy maker occupying the position, keeping Maine in the news for all the wrong reasons while refusing to step aside so that the business of government can continue.
Beyond the reality that Governor LePage is unable to govern, I can’t think of a single person in Maine who thinks someone with Paul Lepage’s temperament should have access to weapons of mass destruction, or have one of the world’s largest militaries at his disposal. If you’ve lived in Maine these past few years, you’ll know that such an idea defies all common sense. It doesn’t even matter who the opposition in the election is– anyone would be a safer choice than someone who lacks self control as both LePage and Trump do. And when I say “anyone” I actually mean, anyone.
If you want to know what the next 4-8 years would be like with a President Trump, just google “Paul LePage” and read a few things that come up. People with uncontrolled temperaments might be amusing to watch, but they are completely incapable of effectively leading– we tested the theory, and know how it all works out.
Trust us, America. This is a really, really, really bad idea that has no immediate solution… it could be a loooooooonnnnnggg 4-8 years.
I can appreciate that people might get tired of the status quo and long for change, but please, America, learn a lesson from the people of Maine. We’ve already tried the whole President Trump thing, and it’s an absolute disaster.
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How does he keep getting elected if he’s so bad? Makes you wonder about the people who think his behavior/comments are okay.
It’s hard to take this blog entry seriously. America felt sorry for Maine after they voted LePage into office in 2010. It was obvious from the get-go he was a POS. HOWEVER, it is hard for the rest of us to sympathize with Maine’s pain now. Maine had a chance to throw him out in 2014 and instead, reelected him. It’s true what they say: You get the government you deserve.
And we in Indiana have done the whole Pence thing…didn’t work either.
I was wondering if you were going to bring up LePage. The thing that amazes me is that this yahoo won re-election. Any idea why? After all, though some of his most awful acts have happened in his second term, he gave most of Maine a clear view of his brand of crazy before Maine reelected him…
That said, let’s learn from Maine’s mistake. Don’t elect people who go to the trouble to take out ads telling you how foolish, cruel and out of touch with reality they are.
ok he sounds like a hilarious jerk. and i don’t think trump should be pres either i do think he kinda has a point in spirit that we should take care of our own people first and we should be careful about who we let in our country however the way he said it was terrible and his plans seem shortsighted and stupid.
I did not know these facts about Maine. . . I live in Mexico, so I guess I´m too far away to be well informed. Sorry about your experiences with a bad governor. . . . Let´s hope it doesn´t happen with Trump and the whole country. Cheers!
The Trump supporters seem to me to be the crowd that gathers around to watch a fight and egg it on.
When my son was young and said he wanted to just watch I told him that the ones standing around egging on the fight were worse than the fighters.
Those that voted for LePage the second time are worse than LePage in my book.
In our state we had a pretty boy named Pawlenty. Other republicans were told by the republican party not to cross him because he was going to run for president.
I lobbied during his first term for more money for the Minnesota Department of Transportation who was begging for money for dangerous roads and bridges.
When the bridge collapsed I felt nothing but anger towards Pawlenty because he vetoed a (maybe more) bipartisan bill for money for roads and bridges. The republican party forced out the republicans who overrode his veto.
Well, Corey, after one term with LePage, Mainers went right ahead and according to you, 48.2% of them voted him back in for a 2d term. That’s nearly half of Maine voters. My question: are Mainers slow learners, or do they just like the kool-ade?
….Cliff Hill, Wheaton, IL
As a resident of Maine, I can say what a disaster Gov. LePage has been. He’s an embarrassment to our state. He got in on the first term due to a three-way election, but got only 37% of the vote. (A lesson for those who think a vote for a third party doesn’t hurt the outcome.) He was nasty and stupid during his first term. Then, say it isn’t so.. the same third party jackass threw his hat in the ring again. This time, that didn’t matter, as LePage did get over 50% of the vote, but it’s who voted that says a lot. We just happened to have had on the 2014 ballot a referendum about “bear bating,” the practice of setting out food to attract bears and then shooting them when they come to ear. Like anything to do with guns and rural ways of life, this brought out people to the polls who would not have come otherwise. So, the bear bating referendum passed, and along with it we got four more years of angry, crude, thoughtless Paul. He’s sort of like Chris Christy, but with less polish.
Ok the guy said some stupid things. If that is your standard for leadership, then I’m afraid you’ll be very disappointed. You act like all of Maine hates the guy, yet he seems to be doing something right. By your own admission he was re-elected, and with a higher percentage. Anyway, if what he said is true than he sounds more like Hillary “black super predator” Clinton than Trump. Say what you want to about Trump, but he is not racist
Oh, whatever. “Maine.” “Moose.” Stop making junk up, Ben.
Yet he was re-elected and Trump will likely take one of Maine’s EV’s.
If I choose not to vote, am I basically helping put Trump in the WH? I simply cannot bring myself to vote for anyone it appears and the election is soon upon us.
Yes, you are.